With the season of the turkey upon us, 45 million are about to be sacrificed at the altar of familial harmony this Thanksgiving. But as America gathers round the holiday table – moms and dads, grandparents and in-laws, exes and step-kids – to carve up and devour the stuffed and tethered foul, The Sultanette gratefully raises a glass to the members of The Male Harem who have so nourished her life. Not a turkey among them!
That’s not to say that a few turkeys haven’t infiltrated the harem along the way. And so I first offer some helpful tips for recognizing the genus meleagris, in the hope that learning from my mistakes, you may avoid similar pitfalls.